Raftel High
by thecarwarn
Summary: What if the Strawhats were real life teenagers? The story is mainly about Nico Robin and Nami's growing friendship between a prep and a goth. zorobin/luna, humor/friendship/romance. Rated M for language and sexual content. Written in a script format.
1. Chapter 1

Raftel High School

Welcome, ladies and gentledudes to Raftel High! Now before we start, let me introduce you to our main characters and shit.

First we have Monkey D. Luffy. He's a 17 year old junior who loves eating meat (tehe, eating meat) and he's on the school's track team. He has two older brothers named Ace, (the dumbass) and Sabo, (the even bigger dumbass). Aside from his two dumbass brothers, Luffy is the largest dumbass. He's blunt, narcissistic and usually gives zero fucks, but under all that "manliness" he's a caring person.

Second we have Nami. This orange haired beauty is Luffy's girlfriend and captain of the school's cheer squad. She's been prom queen 2 years in a row, and is considered to be the 1st most popular girl in school, with Boa Hancock being the -1st. She has big boobs that grow in negative correlation with her I.Q. (meaning that she's dumb!) but she is also a junior, which is a surprise to many people. By the way, she's 16. Yup, she's pedo bait.

Next, we have Zoro. Roronoa Zoro is the school's heart throb, even though he is sort of a douche. He's the captain of the school's football team, he's 17 years old, he's a junior, and his hair is vivid fucking green. The girls in Raftel cream their panties every time they see him, but alas, he has never had an actual girlfriend before.

Third is Sanji. He's known around the school for his good looks and rebellious attitude. Sanji is into whips, chains, and smoking which is considered "cool" in today's society. He's another heart throb that all the emo girls are squealing about, also, Sanji's not considered a "sporty" person, but the mofo can cook. He's a 17 year old junior that would rather spend his whole day fucking a bowl of cooked rice, than sit in a classroom learning about that know-it-all asshole, George Washington.

Fourth is Ussop, or as everyone else calls him, "that fuckin computer nerd with the penis nose". Ussop is a member of the tech club and the butt of everyone's joke. His life is quite miserable actually, I mean, the poor guy can't go one day without getting an "ass-spreader",(you don't want to know what that is).

Finally we have Nico Robin, or as everyone else calls her, "the freaky goth bitch with the bang". Robin is a girl that keeps mostly to herself, no, ONLY to herself. She's a smart goth chick who likes anime, dubstep, and dead bugs you find in ceiling lights. Unlike Ussop, she doesn't get bullied because people are to scared to come near her. Some boys say that if she wasn't so weird, then she would probably be "Nami #2" because of her nice rack, but in the mean time, no...just..no.

Now! Let's begin the story!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Random Dumbass #1: "Hey Nami! Do you mind if I carry your books for you?"

Random Dumbass #2: "No, I'll carry them for you!"

Random Dumbass #1 : Hey! Back the fuck off! I asked her first!

Nami: "Hey you two! I'm a strong girl, I can carry my own books." *Nami winks at them*

Luffy: *Running up to Nami* "Hey baby! How's it going?"

Nami: "I'm tired, hold my books for me." *Nami gives her books to Luffy*

Luffy: "Anything for you baby."

*The two dumbasses stare at Luffy and Nami kissing while they walk away. The two teens enter there home room and take there seats next to each other. They soon start making out.*

Robin: *On the other side of the room, looking at Nami and Luffy* "Ugh, love is nothing but a fuckin demon that ruins the souls of two people."

Zoro: "What the fuck? Are you talking to yourself over there? HA!" *Zoro and the other football players laugh at Robin*

Robin: *She flips them off* "Go fuck yourself."

Zoro: "Suck my cock!" *The football players continue to laugh*

Robin: *Looks down*

Sanji: *Sits down by Robin and puts his arm around her* Hey baby, don't let them talk to you like that.

Robin: "I don't like when people touch me, so please get your arm away from me"

Sanji: "I would but-"

Robin: "Remove...your..arm"

Sanji: *gets up walks away* Well, if you need me, I'm always here for you, you sexy bitch.

*Robin rolled her eyes and laid her head on her desk.*

Nami: "Your such a good kisser" *licks Luffy's lips*

Luffy: "Your not to bad yourself." *smiles* "Sooo Nami, you ready for the pep rally?"

Nami: *putting on lip gloss* "Like, duh. I'm always ready. But we need more cheerleaders."

Luffy: "How about that freaky goth bitch with the bang." *Luffy points at Robin*

Nami: "Luffy! Don't call her a freaky goth bitch! She's just shy. Look, I'm gonna go talk to her and ask her if she wants to join the squad."

Luffy:"Good luck"

*Nami goes over to Robin and sits next to her.*

Nami: "HI!"

Robin: *jumps up in surprise* "Holy shit, you scared me!"

Nami: "Oopsies, I'm so fuckin sorry. Anywhore, My name is-"

Robin: "I know who you are."

Nami: *wide smile* "Omg! You do?"

Robin *frustrated sigh* "Everyone knows who you are. Your popular."

Nami: "Oh yeah!"

Robin: "What do you want?"

Nami: "Oh! I almost forgot! So yeah, like, do you want to join the cheersquad?"

Robin: "I'm gonna be as polite as possible with you. Your cheersquad stinks."

Nami: "But, like, that wasn't polite at all!"

Robin: "1st of all, I would rather make a snuff film with moss-head over there *points at Zoro* than be in your cheer squad. 2nd of all, that was supposed to be rude. 3rd of all, your over-usage of the word 'like' is about to earn you my foot up your ass. Now please get out of my face before I smack you."

Nami: "Ugh!" *Nami gets up and storms back to her seat.*

Luffy: "Well, how did it go?"

Nami: "SHE'S A BITCH!"

**Later That Day...At The Pep Rally..**

Nami: Are you ready girls!

Slutty Cheerleaders: Yeah!

Nami: Alright!

*One stupid cheer later*

Robin: *Sitting in the blechers next to Zoro* "Fuckin preps"

Zoro: "Oh my fuck! Can you shut up! That's all you complain about!"

Robin: "You don't have to listen you know?"

Zoro: "Suck..my..fat..one."

Robin: "Fuckin douche."

**To Be Continued...**

**A/N: Okay, I know that everyone is either an Idiot or an asshole right now, but it gets better, I promise.**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**The Next Day...In 1st Hour...**

Luffy: *taking his seat next to Nami* "Hey beautiful! How did you sleep?"

Nami: "It was nice, i guess." *looks over at Robin*

Luffy: "Don't tell me your turning lesbo now."

Nami: "WHAT! like, ew! Why did you say that?"

Luffy: "I notice that you keep looking at that freak. By the way, I thought she was being mean to you yesterday or something."

Nami: "She WAS being mean to me, ugh, I hate her."

Luffy: "Yup."

Nami: "She's so wierd!"

Luffy: "Mmm hmm"

Nami: "She's such a fuckin bitch!"

Luffy: "She has a nice rack."

Nami: "She's so-, wait what?"

Luffy: "Nothing...nothing"

Nami: "Oh...but anywhore, like, she's so fuckin stupid."

Luffy: "I know right."

Nami: "By the way, is a fruit fly an animal?"

Luffy: "Babe!... I don't know that shit!"

Mr. Oda: "Alright class! Everyone sit down and shut up!"

*Everyone sits down and shuts up*

Zoro: "Yo Oda!" *Zoro throws a paper ball at him*

*Everyone laughs except Robin and Ussop*

Ussop: "Hey Zoro! That wasn't nice! Respect our teacher!"

Zoro: "Shut the hell up nerd!"

Ussop: "Okay"

Mr. Oda: "Zoro! We don't talk to people like that in this class!"

Zoro: "Whatever." *Zoro high-fives the rest of the football players*

Ussop: "Thank you Mr. Oda, that's why you're my favorite teacher."

Mr. Oda: "Shut up nerd."

Ussop: "Okay"

Robin: "This school is a toliet."

Zoro: "Your to face is a toliet." *looks down at her cleavage* "Nice tits though" *the other football players make sex noises*

Robin: *raises an eyebrow* "How enticing."

Zoro: *smirking* "I don't even know what that means."

Robin: "I know you don't know what it means. I was also being sarcastic, your actualy very revolting to me."

Zoro: "Your to kind!"

Robin: "That wasn't a compli-, whatever"

Douchey Football Player #1: "Fuck me."

Robin: "Yeah, no"

Douchey Football Player #2: "For a goth girl, you sure are sexy."

Robin: "..."

: "Hey! You guys! Stop looking at Robin's luscious, big, squeezeable, giant knockers and try to figure out this damn algebra problem! Ugh, fuckin imbeciles."

Robin: "I hate this school."

**1 Hour Later...**

*The bell rings and everyone is released to go to there 2nd hour class. While walking through the hall, Nami and the other cheerlearders were walking with her.*

Nami: "So we're gonna, like, make our costumes a little more skimpier."

Slutty Cheerleader: "Can we add more glitter?"

Nami: "Hell yeah!" *Nami gives her a high five.*

*Nami accidently runs into Robin and knocks everything out of her hand.*

Robin: "Shit!"

Nami: "OMG! I'm sooo sorry!"

*While Nami and some other cheerleaders help Robin pick up her things, Nami picks up a drawing that Robin had drew*

Nami: "Woah, like, this is sooo good! I didn't know you could draw!"

Robin: "Uh, thanks?"

Nami: "Oh! This is Skrillex right?"

Robin: "Y-yeah. You know who Skrillex is?"

Nami: "Like, duuh! I love Skrillex! He's the fuckin bomb!" *smiles*

Robin: "Oh, what's your favorite song by him?"

Nami: "First of The Year."

Robin: "I like Breakin a Sweat" *smiles*

Nami: "Nice."

Robin: "..."

Nami: "O-oh, here's your books!"

Robin: "Oh, uh, yeah thanks." *gets up and walks away*

Slutty Cheerleader: "Ugh, are you really friends with that weirdo.

Nami: "um...no...no..she's not." *walks away with her friends following behind her."

**In Class...With Robin...**

Zoro: "I don't know why I'm in this stupid elective class with you."

Robin: "Please shut up."

Zoro: "Don't tell me what the fuck to do."

Robin" Whatever."

*The two teens were in the same elective class for the first time this school year. They were in the drama elective class, doing the "mirror technique"*

Robin: "Your supposed to mimic my hand gestures."

Zoro: "Da fuck?"

Robin: "Copy what I'm doing"

Zoro: "No"

Robin: "It's for a grade though. An EASY grade."

Zoro: "Well, you copy me then."

Robin: "O-okay."

*Zoro put his chest on his chest and started to go in a circular motion*

Robin: "I'm not doin that."

Zoro: "Oh come ON! You know you wanna" *smirks*

Robin: "No, I don't"

Zoro: "Tch, your no fun."

Robin: "...Don't you hate me..or something?"

Zoro: "I don't hate you, it's just that you make me angry sometimes."

Robin: "Sometimes?"

Zoro: "Okay, ALL the time."

Robin: "But you curse me out, whether I do something or not."

Zoro: "Tch, I'm just messin with ya! Geez, you bitches can't take a joke."

Robin: "Well, your jokes aren't funny! And I'm not a bitch you fuckin asshole!"

Mr. Ceaser: "Hey! Robin! Don't use that kind of language in this class."

Robin: "O-oh, sorry."

Mr. Ceaser: "Do that again, and your out!"

Zoro: *laughing*

Robin: "That wasn't funny."

Zoro: "Yes, yes it was"

Robin *laughing* "Shut up."

Zoro: "See how we're getting along? We're perfect for each other baby."

Robin: "I would rather have sex with barbed wire than have sex with you."

Zoro: "Yeah, whatever." *smirks*

**To Be Continued...**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

**The Same Day...8th Period**

*It was the last hour of the school day and everyone including Robin, seemed sluggish. Robin was trying her hardest to listen to the teacher, Nami was texting on her phone while Luffy was stuffing his face with chips, and Zoro was sleeping.*

Ms. Hina: "Blah blah blah neutrons blah blah blah electrons blah blah blah Nami's breast blah and blah"

Luffy: "Wat da fwauk ish dish bish tawkin abawt?"

Nami: "You need to swallow before you speak honey."

Luffy: "Hahahaha dash wat yaw dawd shaid lasht nawt."

Nami: *rolls her eyes*

Luffy: *swallows his chips* "I'm just kiding babe." *kisses Nami's cheek*

Nami: *smiles*" Tehe, I know you are."

Luffy: "Sooo who are you inviting to the party?"

Nami: "Everyone."

Luffy: "Everyone? Even that tech nerd with the penis nose?"

Nami: "Yeah. What's wrong with having a few nerds over?"

Luffy: "Even Sanji?"

Nami: "Like, duh! He's a badass."

Luffy: "Even Smiley Mcgee?"

Smiley Mcgee: "Hellooooooooooo..."

Nami: "Uhhhhh...I'll think about it."

Luffy: "What about that gothic bitch?"

Nami: "Robin?" *Looks over at her* "I might invite her."

**A Few Minutes Later..**

Ms. Hina: "Okay, class is almost over everyone, you guys can do whatever."

*Nami got up and proceeded to pass out invitations to her party. When she approached Robin's desk, she noticed that she was drawing a beautiful eye.*

Nami: "Oh, Robin! That looks great!"

Robin: "Thanks..."

Nami: "Soooooo..here" *Hands Robin an invitation.*

Robin: "What is this?"

Nami: "Read it silly!"

Robin: *Stares at the card* "It's a costume party?"

Nami: "Yeah! You can dress as anyone you want!"

Robin: "I hope you realize that we're in the middle of April and October is 6 months from now."

Nami: "Well, Of course I know that! It's not a Halloween party, it's just a costume party. It's at my house."

Robin: "I'm not going."

Nami: "..."

Robin: "I don't want to go."

Nami: "..."

Robin "No..."

**Later That Afternoon...In Robin's House..**

Nico Olvia: "You're going to that party young lady!"

Robin: "But mom! I don't even like those kids!"

Olvia: "I don't care if you don't like them! You need to make friends!"

Robin: *face palm* "Why did I have to tell her about the party?"

Olvia: "All you do is stay in this house and do NOTHING! You have to get out and loosen up a bit."

Robin: "Parenting at its best."

Olvia: "You know what, I'm gonna go out right now and find a costume for you."

Robin: "Ugh."

Olvia: "And I'm gonna buy one for me to, so I can go with you."

Robin "THE LIES!"

Olvia: "I'm not lying Robin."

Robin: "My life...my life..."

Olvia: *walks out of the house*

Robin: "FUCK ME!"

**An Hour Later...**

Olvia: *coming through the door* "I'm back~"

Robin: "Okay mom..What did you g-... Jesus Bergus..."

Olvia: "What's wrong?"

Robin: "A slutty Freddie Krueger? Really mom?"

Olvia: "It's not slutty!"

Robin: "I bet the dress is gonna stop at my twat."

Olvia: "No it's not. Besides, I got you the claws and the hat with it."

Robin: *sighs* "At least it's one of the greatest slasher villians of all time. By the way, what did you get?"

Olvia: "I bought a Micheal Jackson costume."

Robin: "..."

Olvia: "What?"

Robin: "Your not dressing as that bleached skined child molester. No! Your gonna be a school teacher."

Olvia: "BUT ROBIN! WHY?!"

Robin: "Don't question my logic woman! YOUR GONNA BE A SCHOOL TEACHER!"

Olvia: "Whatever." *smiles and kisses Robin*

**To Be Continued..**

**A/N: So the next chapter is about a costume party, awkward sexual tension, and some Robin on Zoro action...oh yeeeaaahhh...**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**Saturday Night...**

(In Olvia's car, on the way to Nami's party)

Olivia: "Aww Robin-sweetie! You look so cute in your costume."

Robin: "Mom, the costume stops at my butt. I told you that it was slutty!"

Olvia: "Just because it's short doesn't mean it's slutty"

Robin: *face palm*

Olvia: "Besides, were almost there so it's not like I can turn the car around and go back to the house."

Robin: *sighs* "You look good mom."

Olvia: "Aww thanks! You look good to, my little Freddie!" *pinches Robin's cheek"

Robin: "OW! Can you not?" *smiles* "Oh, I think this is the house."

Olvia: "How do you know?"

Robin: "Because everyone and there cousins are parked at it." *points to the house*

Olvia: *finding a place to park* "Jesus Christ, how many people did she invite?"

Robin: "Who knows."

*Once Olvia found a parking spot, her and Robin walked to Nami's house.*

Robin: *rings the door bell*

(1min later)

Nami: *opens the door* OMG! IT'S YOU!

Robin:" Yeah...hi"

Nami: "So, like who is this? Your older sister?"

Robin: "No, this is my mom. She came with me, for some reason."

Olvia: *smiling like an insane mental patient*

Nami: "Oh...Like, my parents are here to so..You can talk to them."

Olvia: "Oh man! I really wanted to get my grove on!"

Robin: "Can we PLEASE come in now!"

Nami: "Yeah! Why not?"

Robin: *walks into the house* "Woah your house is...big"

Nami: "I.K.R!"

Robin: "What? Sorry I don't speak acronym."

Nami: "Oh...Well that's okay!" *grabs Robin's arm* "Everyone is in my room. Come on."

Robin: "O-okay."

Olvia: "But...wait! Where are your parents?"

Nami: "Ummm...I.D.K."

Olvia"..."

Robin: "Mom, just sit on the couch or something."

Olvia: "..."

Robin: "Bye mom" *walks away*

Olvia: "Hmmm... Well, what to do..what to do?"

**With Nami and Robin...**

Nami: "By the way...I'm digging the zombie Bill Cosby costume."

Robin: "I'm not Bill Cosby...I'm Freddie Krouger"

Nami: "What? Then what are you wearing that sweater for?"

Robin: *face palm and a deep sigh* "Fuck, I'm zombie Bill Cosby then."

Nami: *squeals* "I love his show!"

Robin: "Well, your sexy leopard costume is not so bad either."

Nami: "Ugh, I'm not a leopard silly! I'm a cat!"

Robin:"..."

Nami: "It's okay! Not everyone will notice the first time."

Robin: "I'm just gonna pretend like I didn't hear that. Are we almost to your room?"

Nami: "Yeah it's right up here"

*When they enteres Nami's bedroom, Robin's jaw dropped. Her room was fuckin large. I mean, it was on some Donald Trump type shit. Everyone one was sitting around the room; some were making out while others were grinding on each other.*

Zoro: *coming up to Robin* "Was up! You little bitch!" *gives her a tight hug*

Robin: "I need an adult."

Nami: "Stop harrasing Robin!"

Zoro: *Backs up* "I'm not harrasing her!" *turns to Robin* "Hey Roooobiin~"

Robin: "Your breathe smells like ass."

Zoro: "I'm offended, to say the least!"

Robin: *shrugs* "I don't care."

Nami: "Do you want a drink Robin?"

Robin: "No I'm okay."

Zoro: "Yo Robin, wanna grind?" *smirks*

Robin: "Hell no."

Zoro: *doing pelvic thrusts* "~I don't see nothing wrong, with a little bump and griiiind~"

Robin: *walks away*

**Later That Night...**

Nami: "Okay everone! Were gonna play a little game called 7 Minutes In Heaven."

*Everyone laughed and got in a circle*

Nami: "This is how it goes, I'm gonna spin this bottle two times. The two people that the bottle lands on have to spend 7 minutes in a closet together."

Robin: *raises an eyebrow* "Nami! Can I pass on this game?"

Nami: "No! You shan't! Now get in the circle!"

Robin: "Ugh" *joins the circle*

Nami: "You guys ready?" *spins the bottle*

*The bottle lands on two people and off to the closet they go.*

Robin: "Ugh, I don't wanna play this perverted game."

Ussop: "M-me , this party is to overrated for a guy like me."

Everyone: "SHUT UP NERD!"

Ussop: "Okay."

*After the couple came out, there were 5 more couples who was chossen by the all mighty Coca Cola bottle to make out with each other...until..*

Nami: "Robin! It landed on you!"

Robin: "Fuck."

Nami: *spins the bottle again*

*Some boys in the circle backed up and they all started laughing...until...*

Nami: "Zoro!"

Zoro: "Soooo Rooobbiiin~"

Robin: "Nope nope nope nope I'm leaving!"

Nami: "You can't! You guys don't have to make out."

Robin: "You sure?"

Nami: "I'm sure."

Robin: *sigh* "fine."

*Robin and Zoro enter the closet*

Robin: "Woah...even her closet is huge"

Zoro: "Come to me."

Robin: "Fuck...no.."

Zoro: "Oh come on! Just one kiss?"

Robin: "No."

Zoro: "Pleaseee Robin-babyyyy?"

Robin: "Don't call me that."

Zoro: "Pleeeaassseeeeeee...pleaaaaaaaaaasssseeee"

Robin: "..."

Zoro: *sighs* "Look Robin, If you kiss me then I'll leave you alone and never mess with you ever again."

Robin: "Bullshit."

Zoro: "I"m serious. Promise."

Robin: "I'm not kissing you."

Zoro: "Okay, I tried." *slowly takes off his shirt while rolling his stomach*

Robin: "..."

Zoro: *Takes off his belt slowly and pulls his pants off while moaning*

Robin: "Your not sexy."

Zoro: "Fuck woman! Just kiss me once!"

Robin: "Why do you want to kiss me so bad?"

Zoro: "Because your hot!"

Robin: "And?"

Zoro: "Please."

Robin: "Ugh, If I give you a little kiss will you shut up?"

Zoro: "Yeah."

Robin: "O-okay." *slowly brings her lips to Zoro's*

Zoro: *grabs her and shoves his tongue in her mouth*

Robin: *Pulls away and bites her lip* "Mmmm..that was actually...not that bad..."

*They continue kissing each other roughly*

Zoro: *pulls down Robin's costume* "Damn! Your not wearing a bra!"

Robin: "Bastard! I didn't say you could do that!"

Zoro: "Woah those things are big and perky"

Robin: *covers her breasts*

Zoro: "I knew they were big!" *nose bleed*

Robin: "You just killed my vibe."

**To Be Continued...**

**A/N: Sorry for the delay..But I'm back!**


End file.
